Sunday, June 15, 2008

R. Kelly and the “Doppelganger Set Me Up Defense"

By now we all know that R. Kelly walked. But how did he do it? Well, he did it by way of what I call the “Doppelganger Set Me Up Defense.” R. Kelly asserted that wasn’t him on the videotape; just somebody who possessed an uncanny resemblance to him. And, the alleged victim said, it wasn’t her on the tape; just somebody who also possessed an uncanny resemblance to her. Wow. What are the odds?

So, what we have here is proof positive that Doppelgangers exist. Doppelgangers are an IDENTICAL REPLICA of a person.

Kelly’s acquittal means that what REALLY happened is this totally plausible scenario:

The R. Kelly Doppelganger just so happened to set its sights, not on the real-life child protégé’ of Kelly’s, but on HER Doppelganger. So the Kelly Doppelganger and the Child Doppelganger hooked up for a pornographic romp in---just by coincidence--Kelly’s very own house. Totally innocent stuff, really. But, it sure did get the real Kelly and the real child sweating for a while. Of course, Kelly has no connection to pedophilia (no, don’t even think of Aliyah) or to kiddie porn (no, don’t even think about the photos confiscated from his house in Florida).

So, it turns out after six years of waiting for justice, we got instead the “Doppelganger Set Me Up Defense.” But here is the special thing about Doppelgangers: if a person and its Doppelganger should meet, then both will PERISH!…Perhaps someone can set up their introduction?

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