Sunday, April 20, 2008

Under One (Coonish) Roof

On Wednesday, April 16 at 8pm, this already pitiful world took a nose-dive into the depths of hell. Does Sisterdoc sound melodramatic? Well, I have just two words for you—Flavor Flav. That’s right. MyNetworkTV and producer Darryl J. Quarles has given the king of coons his own sitcom, entitled “Under One Roof.”

This series is as tasteless as one of Flav’s purple pinstripe suits. Calvester (Flav) is described on the show as a “ghetto low-life heathen.” I don’t know about that, but he is a loud-mouth ex-con who shows up on the doorstep of his wealthy brother Winston’s (Kelly Perine) mansion. Winston, of course, is ultra-conservative and married to a White woman named Ashley. Winston and Ashley have two children. Their daughter Heather is a dim-wit tramp. Their son Junior is brainy, but of course knows absolutely nothing about Blackness. Also in the household is Su Ho, the maid who offers malapropism infused Asian proverbs while speaking in broken English. She also wears Cultural Revolution era Chinese robes.

In the series premiere, viewers get to meet a whole gaggle of Calvester’s ex-con friends. Apparently the jail where Cal did time catered almost exclusively to pimps and “junk in the trunk” strip-club dancers-turned- Cal’s “baby mamas.” The humor in this sitcom is supposed to come from watching Cal’s world clash with Winston’s—pimps in the living room and Calvester in bed with his exceptionally frisky and horny former cell-mate “Pumpkin” (played by Tiny Lister, if you can imagine). Cal’s tacky decorating taste next to Winston’s “Pottery Barn” aesthetic is also made obvious.

If you like a series that would present an entire episode based upon jokes about convicts raping each other in jail—tune in next Wednesday for more fun. If you don’t, go to and ask them to take this mess of the air immediately. In addition to being far more scandalous than the ‘90s sitcom “The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer,” which by the way was a “slave-era comedy,” you also can tell the network that at 50 years of age, Flav is too damn old to be playing a version of Will from “Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.”

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